Skip to main content

A Word to My Fellow People Pleasers...

Stop the insanity!!

That's my semi-humorous way of conveying a thought that in all actuality is anything but funny. People pleasing is a serious problem, and it wreaks havoc in the lives of those it plagues. Before you wonder if my words are too harsh, let me lay out some evidence in support of my position.

Looking at the issue of people pleasing through the lens of God's Word, we find that it doesn't produce any lasting fruit. Don't just read that and continue on - think about it for a moment. People pleasing produces no lasting fruit! It just doesn't, and it never will. You will not be the one person in all history to generate lasting fruit by working to please people!

People pleasing hasn't yielded fruit in the past, it isn't yielding fruit right now, and it will not yield fruit in the future. What it does do, it does consistently and very well. It leaves you worn out, weary and resentful. Hmmm, doesn't remind me of the fruit of the Spirit in the least.

In some instances people pleasing will even cost you friendships. In fact, it's been my experience that any friendship forged in the fires of a people pleaser's kiln cannot withstand the pressure and heat of real life. It isn't strong enough to endure the rough and tumble that is real life. The one who is a people pleaser will eventually need to rely on the other person for something, and the other person may well not know what to do when this happens. After all, the friend they knew was always there for them, going the extra mile and bending over backwards. Even the smallest upset in that balance can send said friend running for the hills. How do I know this, you may ask? Life experiences. More than one of them. Yes, I am a recovering people pleaser. And yes, I have lost many friends when I was unable to keep up my people-pleasing facade during times when real life came rolling in.

This isn't easy to admit on a public blog where anyone and everyone can read it. Not only read it, but make judgements about me based on what is written here. For someone with such strong people-pleasing tendencies, that's a scary thought! But it's much scarier for me to hide in my turtle shell and not share this openly in the hope that someone, somewhere might relinquish their people pleasing ways and turn to the Lord for His guidance in relationships.

Not as many people "like" me now that I am more the me God created me to be and less of a people pleaser. And that's okay. In fact, it's far better than having more friends who opt out of the friendship when I actually turn out to be, ahem, a real live person with real needs and flaws. And I've found out that I have some truly amazing friends who are there with me through thick and thin. Praise God for each one of them!!

My final piece of solid advice, from the heart of a die-hard people pleaser, is this: Do not be a people pleaser! Be the you God created you to be!

Lord bless you today!

Day 208 done :)

Jan L. Burt

www.AllThingsHomeschool.weebly.com

www.SavanasClayCreations.com

Comments

  1. Fantasic post and so, so true. I also have less friends now that I focus on a Christ-centered life rather than a people-centered life.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fabulous Jan! And a great reminder at the beginning of a homeschool year. Wish I could reach out and give you a big hug! Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is true. My husband and I have been married 45 years. We have had a few difficult times, but after working through them, we became even closer. Even roses have thorns...sometimes we are like the rose...open and expressing what God created us to be. Sometimes we are like the rose bud; closed but the beauty is still within.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Homeschool Mom's Devotional (# 1)

Colossians 4:17 tells the reader to "be sure to carry out the work the Lord gave you".

How can this be applied to the enormously busy lifestyle of a homeschool mom?

First of all, we must always remember that the Word of God has the answer for our every need and we can trust fully in God to use His Word to lead us, guide us, correct us, and bless us.

Keeping that in mind, let's consider what this verse is saying. We are told to carry out, or complete, the work the Lord has given us. We are wives, mothers, homeschoolers. Those three BIG job descriptions come immediately to mind when I think of homeschooling mothers. Applying God's Word to our life means carrying out our work as wives, as mothers, and as homeschoolers.

When I am exhausted from another long day (or long week, long month, long year, etc.) I still must honor the Lord by blessing my husband. Maybe that means having a hot meal on the table when he arrives home from work. Perhaps your husband would prefer a…

A Schoolhouse Crew Review ~ Homeschool Spanish Academy

Homeschool Spanish Academy described in a single word ~ WOW!!!

Okay, now that I've pretty much summed up how our family feels about Homeschool Spanish Academy, let me give you some reasons for the "WOW" factor.

Right from the start, the process was a breeze. Working with tech support was fantastic; they made all the set up/prep/techie stuff easy.  Once it was determined that our laptop was good to hook, my daughter logged into her Skype account and answered a call from her teacher, Elda. And let me tell you, Elda is terrific. In fact, everyone we have had the pleasure of working with has been terrific. I could boast all day about the caliber of the people at Homeschool Spanish Academy...but again I can sum it up with the word WOW!!!

Live video chat lessons are done via Skype - if you don't have a Skype account you can set one up for free. The teacher from Homeschool Spanish Academy will "call" your child; once your child "answers" the call the tea…

Homework for the Homeschool Mom

As the homeschool mama, I am the one doing the assigning and not usually the one receiving the assigning. I am sure you feel the exact same way. But today I am giving you, the mother who is (most likely) primarily in charge of her children's education, a homework assignment. And I really hope you will take the time to complete it!

The first part of your homework assignment is simple:

          Grab your Bible, turn to Matthew 25:14-30, and read it.

Re-read, highlight, underline or take notes on any portion(s) of this passage that stand out to you. Be an active reader. Read this while thinking about your own life. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you about this passage.

Then, read it one more time.

Finally, the "hard" part of the assignment....

Sit quietly before the Lord, pen and paper in hand, and write what He speaks to your heart about this passage. Ask Him to show you where you are rightly using what He has given you for His glory and His purposes. And, on the more di…