Socialization.
The one word homeschoolers dread hearing the most!
Why is it that people so readily assume that, if you homeschool, you and your children must have so much trouble making friends? interacting in social settings? holding a normal conversation? living life as a human being on this planet?
As women who home educate our children, we deal with this whole "socialization" thing on a multitude of levels.
When we first decide to homeschool, we may lose some old friends who just don't get why we are doing this. As we continue to homeschool, we may lose some friends because our time is allocated more toward our kiddos education and less toward normal "friendship-y" sorts of things. If we ~ GASP! ~ dare to continue to homeschool into the high school years, we again face the prospect of losing some friends who homeschooled in the younger years but feel high school is a bridge too far, for whatever reason (some of those reasons are legitimate - this is not an indictment on women who don't homeschool through the high school years). And alas, when you have finished your time as a homeschooling mother, you may lose friends who are still in the trenches of home education.
We may miss out on small groups and Bible studies during the homeschool years. Our social calendars are basically void of any activity sans those involving our children. A "field trip" to the local pet store that culminates in a 15-minute chat with a guy explaining the awesomeness of owning a ferret might be the closest thing you get to coffee with a friend this entire month...or even the entire year.
Yup. Socialization is a real issue for homeschoolers. Just not in the manner people think it's a problem.
So, what's a mom to do? Is there a solution for this dilemma?
I have done this whole mom gig for almost 25 years now, and have homeschooled all five of my children from preschool through high school graduation. I've taught them the ABC song and have conquered the Common Application for college. I have taught math using every curriculum under the sun (at least, that's how it feels) and I have used Winston Grammar until the flashcards were crumbling with age. I've mastered high school reading lists that make a college application *PoP* and I have documented more electives on transcripts than I choose to remember. My kids have built car engines and bookcases and even their own thriving small businesses. I have a daughter who is a boxer, for goodness sake (and a darn good one, at that). But I don't have any idea how to guarantee friendships for the homeschooling mother.
I do, however, have one thing that trumps all the things I don't have, and that is Jesus.
My best advice for socialization, dear mama, is to pray. We need friends - we need fellowship. It's vital for our spiritual and emotional well-being. Therefore we need to be in prayer about this. And it needs to be specific prayer.
Mom, pray for friends. Ask the Lord to bring you the best possible friends for the season of life you are currently in. Ask Him often, and ask in faith, believing that He cares and He is able to grant your request. Ask Him to give you friendships that will propel you on in your walk with Him; friends who will help you to fulfill your role in His Kingdom right now.
I almost want to dare you to pray and see what God might do...but rather than dare you, I will just encourage you to pray about your own socialization as you homeschool. He loves you - ask Him for the right friends for your right now.
Lord bless you, homeschooling mother!
Day 362 done :)
Jan L. Burt
author of The Homeschooling Mothers Bible Study
& The Power of God's Will - 40 Days of God's Promises Devotional
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