So, I read this quote a few days ago and it really struck a cord:
"Flattery is not communication; it is manipulation."
Um, wow.
When I flatter someone, why? Why do I do it? What is the point? What end result am I hoping to achieve? Just, why?
I don't think I have a good answer. Sometimes, I suppose, I sort of sincerely mean what I am saying (when I compliment or congratulate someone - which is different than when I flatter them). But most of the time I use flattery as a means to an end. Isn't that basically using people? Oh good grief, that's awful! It makes my stomach turn! But there it is in all it's hideousness. Ick.
Communication brings to mind meaningful, two-way conversation that is relaxed and full of intentional listening on the part of all conversing. It's genuine. It happens when people care deeply about one another and want to make that known more than they want their opinion to be known. It's powerful because it's so darn real.
I want to understand in my inner being the difference between flattery and communication. I want to want to be consistently careful with my words and the intentions behind my words. I so want to be dialed in with others that my heart and mind are fully engaged in talking with them and not to or at them.
My prayer for myself is this: "Oh Lord, do not allow me to be a manipulative person. I was created in Your image and I ought to behave as such. Remove flattery from my vocabulary, Lord. Make me a woman who communicates well."
Let us all be women who love well via our communication with others.
Day 356 done :)
Lord bless you!
Jan L. Burt
"Flattery is not communication; it is manipulation."
Um, wow.
When I flatter someone, why? Why do I do it? What is the point? What end result am I hoping to achieve? Just, why?
I don't think I have a good answer. Sometimes, I suppose, I sort of sincerely mean what I am saying (when I compliment or congratulate someone - which is different than when I flatter them). But most of the time I use flattery as a means to an end. Isn't that basically using people? Oh good grief, that's awful! It makes my stomach turn! But there it is in all it's hideousness. Ick.
Communication brings to mind meaningful, two-way conversation that is relaxed and full of intentional listening on the part of all conversing. It's genuine. It happens when people care deeply about one another and want to make that known more than they want their opinion to be known. It's powerful because it's so darn real.
I want to understand in my inner being the difference between flattery and communication. I want to want to be consistently careful with my words and the intentions behind my words. I so want to be dialed in with others that my heart and mind are fully engaged in talking with them and not to or at them.
My prayer for myself is this: "Oh Lord, do not allow me to be a manipulative person. I was created in Your image and I ought to behave as such. Remove flattery from my vocabulary, Lord. Make me a woman who communicates well."
Let us all be women who love well via our communication with others.
Day 356 done :)
Lord bless you!
Jan L. Burt
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